Often when we feel upset, we stuff our feelings.
There are many reasons we might do this:
• We don’t want to FEEL them.
• We don’t want others to know that we are upset.
• We might fear that if we act upset others will judge us.
• We might judge ourselves for being upset and letting it get to us.
It is harmful to keep stuffing
Whatever the reason(s) it is harmful to your well-being to keep stuffing. When anything happens, we will have an organic reaction to it. The intensity of that reaction depends on our emotional state at the time and how we think, and believe, things “should” be.
What’s underneath the upset? How to find out
Getting to the underlying cause of our reactions to certain things takes time and healing. So, for now, here are a few steps that may help you reduce the intensity of your reaction, or at least shorten the time you experience it:
• Step One: Acknowledge the feeling! If your angry state it “I am so angry…. I hate this…. “. If you are hurt, cry your tears, just go for it. Giving yourself permission to have the feeling can dispel a lot of the negative energy around it that you are holding in your body. Please do this alone and in a safe space so as not to direct it toward others while in the upset.
• Step Two: Breathe
• Step Three: Complete this sentence on a piece of paper “I am upset because…”
• Step Four: Choose, yes CHOOSE, how you want to respond to the upset, for now
This allows you time to get some clarity on what it is that is REALLY bothering you. From this space you have a higher probability of successfully addressing the issue going forward.
Give it a try and see how it goes. You might be surprised at how powerful these steps can be in shifting you to a more desirable state of mind!
You got this…