Is that what I really look like?
When I started recording videos for The Joy Lab I was struck by the image of myself on the screen. I remember asking myself “Is that what I really look like?”. I realized that I was judging my body shape, my skin and even how I was moving on the mat. This did not feel good.
Social Media Comparisons
I know from time to time, especially as women, we are unkindly judging our physical appearance. We are so inundated with social influences of what we should look like that it can often put us into a space of comparison… too fat, too thin, too tall, too short, too whatever. And then often what happens is we ramp it up and tie it to our self-worth; “If only I looked like ___________ then I would be attractive, lovable and accepted”.
Yes I Struggle Too and This is What I Do
I admit that I’ve spent a great deal of my life wishing things were different about my body and especially my skin. I have struggled for years with skin problems, mostly skin cancer which has permanently changed the appearance of my skin. When these negative thoughts would come up I would feel conflicted because in my private practice I coach women (and men) on self-acceptance, self-love and stopping negative self-judgment.
So, when those thoughts come up for me, I use the same tools on myself that I do with my clients.
Here is what I do:
- I thank my body for all that it does for me, without me even asking.
- I thank my body for allowing me to do the work that I do in helping others heal.
- I tell my body that I will do my best to stay healthy, active and flexible.
- I remind myself that WHO I AM is not my body.
This helps me refocus on what really is important for me. You might have a different set of statements to tell yourself, but I encourage you to practice self-acceptance and self-love when those darker thoughts come up. The mental and emotional benefit of positive thoughts will support you in having better overall health too.
Try this framework to develop your own statements from:
Old thought: As soon as I HAVE the perfect body then I will DO what I want to do and then I will BE happy!
New thought: I choose to BE happy and DO all I want to do and HAVE all that my heart desires.
Self-Love is KEY
So, am I still working on losing that extra weight that seemed to have come out of nowhere? Yes, I am. But here’s the thing… when you choose self-care from a place of loving yourself, as opposed to doing something so others will love and accept you, you have a MUCH BETTER chance of success.
You got this…